Sprezzatura being effortlessly elegant.

Sprezzatura - It's an Italian word that first entered common parlance in the art world where it described 'a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or say appear to be without effort and almost any thought about it'.  It's basically the art of concealment, not looking like you spent hours getting ready even if you did or not.  This doesn't mean you should look sloppy and differs from shabby chic. It is the art of effortless elegance. This is where you follow the classic style rules colours, fabrics and fit. 

Today, I was reading an article that made me think of all my elegant role models and the one thing they all had in common. They were effortlessly elegant. They all made it look so easy it’s like it came naturally to them. Regardless, of the hours they spent slaving away in the kitchen, they came out not only with a delicious dish but they too looked immaculate.

Their makeup always looks flawless and effortless there’s no time of day that you will catch them not looking their best.

There’s this calmness about them. Even if they are well above vexed and about to explode inside they still managed to remain calm and manage a smile. To some this comes naturally to them, absolutely effortless. This is a skill I would love to possess however, for some of us it has to be acquired if not learned and revised time without number. Below are some tips that I have tried to bide by in my learnings, I thought to share.

                                                                            

How to be effortlessly elegant

Be self-contained/composed and always maintaining ones composure.

Being poised in not only a skill we all as ladies need to have, it is essential in our daily lives.  Having the wisdom of knowing when to reveal, talk, shout, let your anger get away with you. This does not call for pretence. Rather, just knowing what to say but most importantly when to say it. Being self –contained means knowing when to hold back.

You do not have to tell the whole world, how stressed you are, how sad you are, how hard you work, nor how your world just seems to always spin anti clockwise. Learning when and what to hold back at certain times and with certain people is the skill to master here. Do not pretend you are not busy, or pretend you are not angry, you are not stressed, nor does not make an effort in the kitchen nor to look good. It’s the power to refuse to get sympathy for the amount of work you put in, in your life. Instead hold your head up high and face your problems head on and deal with them to the best of your abilities.

I am not saying pretend you are fine while you let pain build within. It’s knowing when to talk to someone, who to talk to and about what, but most significantly at the right time.

There has been times in my life when it seemed I was literally problem hopping. Moving from one setback to another. Every time I met with a friend I had an ounce of good news and a ton of problems to share coupled with how busy my life seemed to have been. I hated getting sympathy from my friends as I thought the only image they could possibly have of me was that I was a basket case incapable of dealing with anything.

So I have learned not to burden my friends with how stressful my job is, or my life in general. I also found the less I complained about my life the better it got. A skill I am only after acquiring but takes a while to learn and perfect. Now if asked how I am, depending on who the person is, how genuinely interested the person asking me this is, where we are and what frame of mind I am at.  I would be more than happy to oblige with the details. Of course bearing in mind, you do not want your friend regretting why they ever bothered to ask in the first place. Most importantly, I prefer to listen to my friends.  More so ask them how they are as I believe certain setbacks in my life can wait.

“Our words reveal our refinements; they tell the discerning listener of the company we have kept; they are the hallmarks of education and culture”. - Dale Carnegie

Not having to prove yourself.

It’s not about proving how smart/clever you are, people can tell you are smart. They can tell how brave you are from how you have handled stressful situations and admire you for that. They can tell how hard you work from the fruit of your labour.

“Work hard in silence, let your success make the noise”

Being quietly confident. You know you are good at what you do without having people recognising/having to hear it from you, of your profound “greatness” at what you do. Let your work speak for itself. Effortless appearance and quite confidence puts people at ease amidst your company.

Looking your best at all times

Being effortlessly chic is not about showing people you have 0 problems in your life, but it’s about taking pride in your appearance. Elegance with you makeup, hair, and clothes let people see how beautiful and uniquely stylish you are, not how fashionable you are. Over doing it makes you look vain. Most people would argue fashion is a way to express oneself, which I do not even for a second oppose. However, I am of the view that, it is a much better option to look stylishly simple at the same time elegantly presented. Than the later. Don’t give people the impression that you are a vain woman by totally over doing it and looking exactly like the mannequins on shop windows, they are for display purposes only. Having the right balance is of essence here. Although, less is more, I do not propose being completely out of fashion either. People must be able to relate to you and not think your clothes/dressing code makes you look somewhat irrelevant to society. Standing out from the crowd for all the reasons attracts the wrong attention.

Hence, the need to everything balanced. You do not want to look too much nor so yesterday. There’s a need to have a certain amount of self-control and withholding abilities to appear effortlessly elegant. “There is a sort of appropriateness about being effortless”. This is not a mask that you have to put on to show you are completely stress free and did not put any effort in your appearance in the morning rather they should see it from you how effortless it all can came together. Looking like you tried too hard becomes contrived and defeats the purpose of the art of being effortlessly elegant. Henceforth, the importance is not to take all the fashion trends not too seriously just have fun styling your pieces to have a unique but yet fashionable look. The textures, the right colours and most significantly the right fit for you and your body shape is of essence here.

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Disclaimer: I certify that is not entirely my work but a compilation of other resources obtained from my research.